The beginners group not looking like beginners at all!
Tonight’s post is bought to you from the crazed & warped mind of Arnie “The pen is mightier than the sword” Knowles. Away you go Arnie…..
I awoke at the crack of dawn and as my unstable bed wobbled I thought to myself “Is that aroma Colin again?”. I gazed bleary eyed at the cloudless sky whilst eating soggy sugar puffs wondering what the day may bring. Skiing was the obvious answer but one never knows.
After booting up we went left at the bottom of the chair lift. What a surprise!
Riding to the top with Nina my Ski instructor I was waiting for reassurance as we were just about to ride a black mogul run for the first time and all she said was “I hope I don’t have to call the helicopter”. Dissatisfied I gingerly skied down. I’ll explain what it’s like….
Imagine strapping two slippery, plastic things to your feet and sliding down the stairs in your house which are covered in sleeping dogs which you cannot ride over. Does that paint a realistic enough picture for you?
Next I shot a video as we went down one of the red runs on the mountain and nearly killed myself in the process by inadvertently riding up a snow bank off piste.
Lunch back at the hotel.
I ate half of my soup and started on my main with the intention of returning to the soup but then the Gold Lame clad waitress removed it from the table when I wasn’t looking.
In the afternoon we skied with the beginners’ group for a bit while our instructor helped them out and then we made it down to the end of the run through some off piste routes.
I was stylishly skiing, if I say so myself, amongst the jump field (An area of snow covered in multiple jumps & bumps) when I looked up & saw Colin E get up close & personal with a rather attractive tree after popping out of a hole! Wes K was in front of me when he managed to whiz out of control in deep snow which forced me to collide with him and end up head first in the rather deep snow.
Now we are travelling on the coach to go shopping in Innsbruck, accompanied by some rather extraordinary music, who knows what wonders are in store for us. As we drive into the legendary city I have to say that all in all it’s been a “Wunderbar” day so far in averagely awesome Austria.
Today’s Wally & Hazard awards
Wally Nominations: Elliot for blocking the loo 3 times, Danny T for putting his ski boots on the wrong feet. Charlie for putting his clothes on inside out & back to front TWICE.
Hazard Nominations: Elliot for whole catalogue of team wipe-outs, Will for skiing over Colin’s ski’s & for skiing “Like a Grandad”, Chelsea for wiping out numerous snowboarders & injuring herself with the scars to prove it. Bradley took out his own instructor.
And the winners are…..
Wally of the day goes to: Elliot “Danger to shipping” Horwood.
Hazard of the day goes to: Brad “The instructor destroyer” Parsons.
The beginners group doing Snow Badger impersonations!